Humor


HT: http://ianmdent.wordpress.com/

Posted by Ken Schmidt

I had to steal this from my friend Amy.  This is so descriptive of my writing and speaking style.  Especially #22

Guide To Essay Writing 

1. Avoid alliteration. Always.
2. Prepositions are not words to end sentences with.
3. Avoid clichés like the plague.
4. Employ the vernacular.
5. Eschew ampersands & abbreviations, etc.
6. Parenthetical remarks (however relevant) are unnecessary
7. It is wrong to ever split an infinitive.
8. Contractions aren’t necessary.
9. Foreign words and phrases are not apropos.
10. One should never generalize.
11. Eliminate quotations. As Ralph Waldo Emerson said, “I hate quotations. Tell me what you know.”
12. Comparisons are as bad as clichés.
13. Don’t be redundant; don’t use more words than necessary; it’s highly superfluous.
14. Be more or less specific.
15. Understatement is always best.
16. One word sentences? Eliminate.
17. Analogies in writing are like feathers on a snake.
18. The passive voice is to be avoided.
19. Go around the barn at high noon to avoid colloquialisms.
20. Even if a mixed metaphor sings, it should be derailed.
21. Who needs rhetorical questions?
22. Exaggeration is a billion times worse than understatement

Post by Ken Schmidt

I love the english language.  My wife and I often talk about words, the origin of them and the overuse of certain words/phrases.

Here are some words/phrases that I wonder of the origin:

  1. Opine: we first heard this word when President Bush uttered it in a press conference
  2. Concussed: this has become the buzzword in football circles…I am not sure it is a real word

Here are three words/phrases that I think have used up their 15 minutes of fame:

  1. Epic
  2. It is what it is
  3. Just sayin

I would be interested in words/phrases that you think should be retired.

Posted by Ken Schmidt

Posted by Ken Schmidt

19-months ago, this woman would have made no sense to me.  Now, I understand everything she is talking about.

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